Contaminate the World

A few weeks ago I found myself in a situation where I was infected by two very contagious people. We have all been hearing lately about horrible infectious diseases, leaving us all with a fear of catching a catastrophic  illness. What I was reminded of during my experience was that not everything that is transmitted from one living organism to another is a bad thing.

Let me explain. I met up with a friend and her friend to do a lovely day of hiking and running in my local mountains. As soon as we were in the parking lot there was laughter and silliness. I can tell you that the symptoms of having fun quickly were evident and we were spreading that infection up and down a mountain. When you come upon three grown woman who spontaneously break into song frequently it seems that smiles are transmitted to other peoples faces. The fun loving and friendly attitude quickly took over everyone we came in contact with on our journey.

I knew that these two were kindred spirits pretty quickly but the fact that we were all life long carriers was cemented when I told them that I sometimes like to run with airplane arms. Instead of questioning what I was talking about, our trail turned into a runway with three planes tilting and negotiating steep banked turns. We put in many miles that day on the trail and I knew that it was a good workout because my cheeks were sore. Laughter is good medicine and good exercise. These two ladies understood how the mountains feed my soul and that a positive fun loving attitude nourishes ones spirit.

Today a friend of mine posted something that reminded me that the best thing we can do for the world is be happy. So go ahead, be highly infectious and contagious in your attitude.... and next time you run, spontaneously break into song while you flap your airplane wings. I promise that the only thing this illness will do is cause a giant smile:)

Facing and Embracing

I had the perfect run the other day. It was the day after my 9 mile uphill time trial and one week after I ran 50km with over 6000ft of climbing. In between, I had kept up my training. So, imagine my surprise when Sunday my calves hurt going up hill and my body felt like it was moving through quick sand. I happened to be running with some ultra runner veterans so I just kept on going the best that I could. They wanted to do hill repeats, I was in. Slowly but surely I kept plugging along and loved every minute of it. This was what I wanted, I don't want to feel fresh and fabulous every time I go out and train. I want to know that I am actually doing enough that I am fatiguing my body and building strength and endurance. I had to make some adjustments, walk up a few hills I would normally run up. Slow my pace at times, pick up the pace when I felt good, and just run through the suck. I haven't run 100 miles before, but I am pretty sure that at some point there is going to be something that hurts and I'm going to feel deep fatigue. Not every workout can be fantastic. It is the ones where you have to suck it up and get it done that you gain the most mentally and physically. Runs like these will prepare me best for what I am trying to accomplish this year. The next day I felt great and had no signs of the struggles from the day before. When another 'perfect' day presents itself I look forward to facing and embracing the suck.

Here's a picture of my running buddy the day after.

Play Dates

I read a quote somewhere that went something like this 'you learn more about a person in an hour of play than a year of conversation'.

Two of us are taking on the Leadwoman challenge and the other is 'only' doing the Leadville Trail 100 run. I am looking forward to many more play dates this year!

Melting Down

How good would throwing a temper tantrum feel right now? A full fledged toddler in the row of a supermarket meltdown? I'll just throw my pack off into the cacti, lay down and hammer my fists and feet into the ground. No wait, my feet hurt, I'll rest them and just bash my hands and head into the dust and scream a bit. No one will see, I'll feel so much better, I'm going for it.... that was at about mile 37 of my 50 miles.

How did I get here, other than the obvious, on my own two feet. It had all started out so well. I was loving it, I was trotting along feeling amazing. I was on top of my fluid and calorie intake. I had met some interesting people and had some great chats along the way. I had summited the climb (which was described as seriously steep, and that was an understatement). But then the unexpected had happened.

I had read and been told to be prepared for the unexpected and so I was. I had immodium, bendadryl, an epi pen in my pack. I had more calories and fluid with me than I needed at any given time. I had lights in drop bags that I should be passing WAY before the sun went down. I had an emergency field foot repair kit in a drop bag. I had layers and layers of clothes in various drop bags just in case it rained in the desert, or got a snow storm. Oh yes, I was prepared for the unexpected, except I wasn't. It was unexpected that I could need any of these things, but I had thought about it. What I hadn't expected or thought about was that I might have an asthma attack. That seemed very far fetched since the last time I had used an inhaler was well over 5 years ago, but it happened. The dust, the dryness, the less then clean air quality, and breathing it in deeply for over 6 hours had caused my bronchial to tighten up and wheezing to start.

At first I just tried to plow through it in denial. I put on my iPod, cause if I can't hear the wheezing then it isn't real, right? That worked but the coughing couldn't be ignored. I had to slow down on a slight downhill. It was prime for opening it up and running, but even doing that caused me to breath deeper than I was able. In order to keep the bronchospasms from happening I was reduced to a slow shuffle. I pretended I was still running, but we've all seen those people. I could have walked faster but my pride said, I'm going to run. I got passed by people who looked like they were flying along, I'm sure they weren't since they were behind me until this point and it had been an ugly couple of hours by now. I just kept repeating, relentless forward motion. As long as you keep going forward you are getting closer to your goal.

After the nice long gradual downhill wide trail I was back onto a flat section. Once again I was walking and the frustration, coupled with being a bit tired got me to the point of the trailside tantrum. As enticing as it was I had to continue moving forward and flinging my gear and raging wasn't part of that. Thus, the whole meltdown occurred in my head. All that visualization practice put to darn good use:) I was sobbing a bit, but then realized that the gasping wasn't making my breathing any better. Someone yelled at me 'stop being such a pussy' and I looked around to see where they were, seems the stern lecture came from none other than me. So, off I set to get to the next aid station where luckily I had a light and some clothes cause we were quickly approaching darkness.

As I left the aid station I had contemplated taking a short cut back to the finish line. The short cut was 3 miles of unmarked trail compared to the 6 miles of well marked race course. I knew if I got lost out of the race course search parties would be in the right vicinity. If I got lost out on the short cut, it could be a long night. Off I went, dressed like a homeless person with various unmatched clothes and my light. Note- I probably smelled like a homeless person at this point as well so it was all appropriate. I wasn't on my own for long when a fellow racer came upon me. He became my forced companion since he didn't have a light and there was no way he could find his way on the trail in the dark. I was navigating and setting the pace since I had the light and he was following me. I told him he would be on his own when we got to the start/finish area. We had to go through there before our final 5.4 miles. When I knew we were close I was picking up the pace and running, horse towards the barn. Plus, when night fell moisture came into the air and suddenly the dust was down and I could breath better.

Running into the finish shoot felt great, I knew I was done. I told the timing guys my number and that I was pulling out. Hubby heard that, and said WHAT! You are so close. No way, you aren't stopping now. It's only 5.4 miles (easy for the guy who hasn't run 44.6 miles to say). Then he told me, I'll come with you. You are allowed a pacer now and I'm coming. Handed him my spare light ( I know, I had two lights and didn't give one to the guy with no light. Don't judge me. I didn't want to have a light die and be out there in the dark. Besides, I did help him, I lit the trail for like 5 miles for him). Told the timing guy as I ran past 'guess I'm back in' and off we went chasing down my previous running buddy.

The best miles of the entire race were the ones where my husband ran with me. It was awesome. He was wearing regular clothes and shoes. He led the way and I just followed. I put my brain on off mode and just let my legs move. I was able to breath again, I felt better than I'd felt since mile 30 or so. I was actually back in this thing. We caught and passed the only guy even in the same zip code and kept going. I made it to the finish line, I can't say I ran 50 miles, but I did 50 miles on my own two feet and beat the time cutoffs. I thought about quitting but I didn't (well, I did momentarily but I took it back so it doesn't count) I went through the valley of doubt and ran out the other side. If you melt something down you can reshape it into something stronger and better.

One Step at a Time

This coming weekend is my first 'official' ultra run. Yes, I have run a few 50km training runs, but this is the real deal. Last night I had a bit of a freak out, okay, maybe I panicked a bit and my eyes might have gone a little glassy and misty. I suddenly realized that I have to be ready, there is no more preparing. Luckily, the voice of reason, in the form of my husband, stepped in. I was prattling on about how far 50 miles is and I wasn't sure if I was ready. He told me that I was as ready as I was going to be at this point. Mostly what he said that stuck with me and is going to be my mantra is that I had decided that I was going to do this so I was going to do it. Sometimes it becomes that simple. I will be out there and at times there will be low points but I chose to be out there and therefore out there I will be. To me this is like a midterm exam. See what material you have mastered and what areas you need to work on for the final exam. (unlike many of my real midterms, I've actually been attending class:)) So, I am heading out onto the trails with the intent of learning as much as I can. I probably won't hand my exam in first, but I will get it done. I will be learning from myself but I also will be looking over the shoulders of the more experienced people out there learning as much as I can from them. If I wasn't a little intimidated then I'd be concerned. It is when we are challenged that we truly rise to the occasion.

I will control what I can while I am out there and I will keep putting one foot in front of the other. Relentless forward motion will get me where I need to be. When the race starts I will choose to take my first step and I will just keep on going one step at a time.

"the longest journey begins with a single step".

My Monster

A monster has taken up residence in my life. He can show up anytime, anywhere. He is big, hairy and scary. He likes to taunt me and put doubts in my head. The only way I know to silence him is to run and bike.He mostly has me running though.

When did I first see this monster? The first glimpse of him was a shadow in the woods in 2009 outside a little mountain town in Colorado. He crossed my path again a few times in 2010 when I returned to the same town. Maybe it was just the hypoxia from the lack of oxygen in the air at that altitude but I promised him that we would become good friends. We would share many hours together and I would tame him... one day. We have been silently courting each other since the end of July. As of this morning the time has arrived to make our relationship public. As of tonight he will take up residence under my bed, in my closet and in my head. His name is Leadman and today begins my journey in domesticating him.

Right now, I am trying to keep him caged while I develop the skills to take him on. So far the cage isn't working very well, I might need a muzzle too and a stun gun. He already gloated at me when I had to fill out the part of the form that asked how far is the furthest I have ever run. Ha- you think you can run 100 miles in under 30 hours and you have only run 50km before. At first he had me almost crying but then I silenced him by saying when I signed up to ride 100 miles on my mountain bike I had never ridden over 50km on it and now I've run that same course- twice. Zing, he was quiet for all of  2 seconds. Then he reminded me that I had actually ridden a bike further than that though. That didn't leave me crumpled enough, he bared his teeth and pointed out that I am still going to have to ride my bike 100 miles in the dirt one week before I run 100 miles. Oh and throw in that little 10km the day after the 100 mile bike. But I won't even be able to go into those battles if I first don't complete the trail marathon and 50 mile mountain bike ride within the time cut offs. Yes, this monster comes with an army of scary friends.

The best way to defeat an enemy is to know them well. So, I am going to cuddle up to my monster, spend hours and hours with him and maybe just maybe come June 29th when I line up to begin the first battle of the war my monster will have become my ally.

 

A unicorn doesn't care if you believe in it anymore than you care if a unicorn believes in you.


Lean On Me

It seems that in ultra running as in life it is best to choose your running partners wisely. You are going to be spending hours and hours together through better and through worse. There might even be some sickness involved.

On Saturday I got to tag along with a great team. Along the way I learned many lessons. We ran up and over and back up a mountain. Luckily for me both of the guys were facing their own struggles. I didn't want to rejoice in their suffering but it did make it a more even playing field and I was able to keep up. One of them had the remnants of a flu bug. He puked trailside but refused to turn around. According to him this was most excellent training for the late miles of a long ultra when anything could happen. Due to his leaving extra fluids out of the trail he managed to run out of water. His partner was able to share some of his. While I watched the sick guy sucking on the straw of the other guys camelback I couldn't help but think that was true caring. I am not one for sharing straws with well people so that would have been stretching my limits. I did have a contigency plan if he needed water from me, I could put it into my hand held from my straw and no straw sharing would occur. Yah for me, I could still be an asset to the team.

When sickie was feeling better and only coughing up small amounts of phlegm to leave on the trail he was called upon to be the strength of the team. Cramps were setting in to the other guys legs. Lucky for him, his chosen running partner is also his chiropractor/ART therapist. Talk about picking a good partner! Anyone can give you salt tablets and a bit of water but trailside body maintenance is pretty hard to come by! I was able to take a bit of a break from ascending and descending a mountain while the appointment was being conducted, during which time I sucked on some nice fresh water out of my camelback and had a snack.

Prior to starting the run the guys made sure to email me to bring plenty of food and water. Sounds like they didn't want an albatross around their neck. Even starting out they were looking at my pack concerned about the amount of water I was carrying. I assured them that I had 70 oz and was prepared with food. I kind of felt a bit guilty as they were rationing water and I arrived back at the base with extra. Not guilty enough that I was sharing my straw voluntarily though, I had just met them after all!

When you are running up and down mountains it is good to be self sufficient but it is nice to know when the going gets tough, and it will, that you have someone to lean on. I just hope that at some point I will be strong enough and experienced enough that I can say 'lean on me'.