Sunday, March 29, 2015

Welcome Home

He's back. I thought I had served him eviction notice in August of 2013, but he has returned. He's moved right back in and made himself quite comfortable in every nook and cranny of my condo. Lurking under the bed at night, in the closets and every time I open the fridge or a bag of potato chips he suddenly appears. I've tried to reason with him that I was doing just fine living without his presence but he isn't responding to reason. He returned to couch surf my life in January when I got 'lucky' and 'won' the Leadville Trail 100 lottery. As soon as I got the news the big fat scary monster knocked on the door and hasn't left since. He's even managed to hijack his way into my holidays!

Now every good house guest knows that you should bring fine wine and stay a limited time, BUT this guy has no social graces. Not only is he freeloading and living in my home he isn't even polite. He taunts me when I do a treadmill workout with jeers of that's all you've got. You have to run that distance 20 more times to get to the finish. When I look in the mirror his big ugly mug appears over my shoulder reminding me that winter insulation isn't going to do me any good going up Hope Pass. The only wine this guy brought is my whining!

It seemed like a brilliant idea to try running 100 miles again. I mean last time I had to do a 100 mile bike the week before. This time I will be nice and fresh I tell my Monster, but his snickers tell me differently. Last time I was super fit and had tons of time to dedicate to training in beautiful warm sun all the time. A bad weather day involved some mist. Now a bad weather day involves 10 extra pounds of clothing and well below freezing temperatures. I try to tame him with the news that I have toughened up in the elements and now I have knowledge of what it takes to finish 100 miles. He only responds with snarky comments like 'every 100 is different', 'you don't know how you'll handle things until they happen'. I attempt to mute him out by turning up the volume on my playlist but he filters in.  The only way to drown him out is complete exhaustion.

Just between you and me 2014 was kind of lonely without him. Don't tell him, but I look forward to his jeers, taunts and fear tactics because that is what gets me out the door and lets me know that I am truly living. Nothing great ever happens in the comfort zone. Welcome home Big Fat Hairy monster and while you are under the bed clean out the dust bunnies. I have no time for that, I have some running to do starting with 2 100km races in May. See if you can keep up buddy.

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